InnerTalk Setting Healthy Boundaries - Saying No With Grace MP3
Are you one of those people who find it hard to say no? Do you find yourself agreeing to plans that don't sound like fun to you or that would deprive you of something you would rather do? How about lending things to others when you need them yourself, or when you know the recipient will not take of the item? Do you know how to speak up when someone enters into your physical space when you do not want it , such as with hugs or other physical contact?
Writing for PsychCentral.com Dr. Darlene Lancer identified areas where personal boundaries are particularly important.
"Material boundaries determine whether you give or lend things, such as your money, car, clothes, books, food, or toothbrush.
Physical boundaries pertain to your personal space, privacy, and body. Do you give a handshake or a hug – to whom and when? How do you feel about loud music, nudity, and locked doors?
Mental boundaries apply to your thoughts, values, and opinions. Are you easily suggestible? Do you know what you believe, and can you hold onto your opinions? Can you listen with an open mind to someone else’s opinion without becoming rigid? If you become highly emotional, argumentative, or defensive, you may have weak emotional boundaries.
Emotional boundaries distinguish separating your emotions and responsibility for them from someone else’s. It’s like an imaginary line or force field that separates you and others. Healthy boundaries prevent you from giving advice, blaming or accepting blame. They protect you from feeling guilty for someone else’s negative feelings or problems and taking others’ comments personally. High reactivity suggests weak emotional boundaries. Healthy emotional boundaries require clear internal boundaries – knowing your feelings and your responsibilities to yourself and others.
Sexual boundaries protect your comfort level with sexual touch and activity – what, where, when, and with whom.
Spiritual boundaries relate to your beliefs and experiences in connection with God or a higher power."
However knowing and doing are not the same - setting boundaries can be difficult for many reasons. Chief among those reasons is the ability to say no. Saying no to any and all violations of your personal boundaries can be especially difficult if you’ come from a codependent upbringing. Again quoting Dr. Lancer:
"It’s hard for codependents to set boundaries because:
They put others’ needs and feelings first;
They don’t know themselves;
They don’t feel they have rights;
They believe setting boundaries jeopardizes the relationship; and
They never learned to have healthy boundaries."
If you experience boundary issues this programme is for you. Isn’t it time you became comfortable asserting your own rights? Isn’t it time you shaped your own life? Began to live a life of your choice?
Many people have been raised to think it is important to always be agreeable with others. As such, there are those who simply take advantage of them and their good natures. The fact is, it is possible to say 'no' nicely—respecting yourself while remaining respectful.
Healthy boundaries put you back in control of your own life. Learn this vital skill now.
You can become comfortable asserting your rights!
Sample thought modification messages in this programme:
"I value my time.
I value my worth.
I value myself.
I value my schedule.
I value my priorities.
I can say no gracefully.
I practice saying no with a smile.
I don’t apologize for saying no.
I can say no to anyone.
It is my time, my life, and my priorities.
It is my space and my body.
Saying no does not mean I’m a bad person.
Saying no is sometimes necessary.
I value my peace of mind.
I value my health.
I am unique, valuable, and important.
I am direct when saying no.
I am polite when saying no.
I need no excuse to say no.
I am guilt free.
I am honest.
I know my limits.
I accept myself.
I love and respect myself."
available with music or nature soundtrack
£19.99 each or £31.99 for both soundtracks